Opening Night: Yankees 7 – Giants 0

Finally, after a long cold winter Opening Night is here! Time for America to get together around the TV and tune in to.. Wait what channel? I have to order Netflix for this?!

Mutants of the Game:

Max Fried (SP): 6.1 IP, W, 0 ER, 4 K’s, 2 H, 1 BB

2 hits?! The good people of San Francisco deserve better than to watch their team get carved up like this in Game 1.

Giancarlo Staton (OF): 2/4, 1 RBI, 1 Run

The man who famously couldn’t open a bag of chips in the offseason has picked up right where he left off after a surprisingly good 2025 season. Who needs an elbow to swing a bat anyway?

Trent Grisham (OF): 1/5, 3B, 2 RBI

You really didn’t draft him for RBI and power, but the bomb he hit off Webb was legit. Also, a reminder that the batter at the plate with Judge looming in the on-deck circle will see the best pitches!

Bums of the Game:

Aaron Judge (OF): 0-5, 4 K’s, .000 BA

A comical outlier for the MVP and likely his worst game of the season. Everyone just Netflix and Chill!

Logan Webb (SP): 5 IP, 6 ER, 7 K’s, 9 H, 1 BB

The K’s are nice, but this was just a wake-up call, right? Right?!